For my dearest Princess.

It was still very early when he left home.

Aki only watched his feet as he continued walking through the near-empty hallway. Hands clutched on the strap of his bag loosely. Thinking about nothing in particular, just watching as the bluish shadows turn orange to yellow with every step he made.

He stopped at seeing a pair of boots just at the end of his line of sight, and lifted his face.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” he heard Hitsugi shot back at him and he smiled. Hitsugi’s face full of piercings lightened up with a smile too.

Aki dropped his bag by Hitsugi’s boot and leaned on the wall like Hitsugi did, shoving his hands into his pockets. He looked down and then towards the other. “It’s brilliant you know.”

Hitsugi seemed a bit startled with the way Aki looked at him straight in the eye and in turn averted his look and grinned sheepishly. “I know. Why didn’t we think of this earlier?”

Aki watched as Hitsugi stared at his own boots, contemplating on how he must’ve looked like that too while he was walking along the hallway earlier. Maybe a lot less adorable though, since Hitsugi was pursing in that certain way that that washed away all traces of his bad-assery at its sight.

Hitsugi stopped pouting unconsciously and started pouting consciously, shoving Aki by the shoulder. “What are you laughing at me for?”

Aki chucked out a small laugh. “Am not!”

“Aki-san! Hitsugi-san! Sorry to keep you waiting!” The both of them pushed themselves off the wall, Aki pulling his bag from the ground and Hitsugi dusting on his clothes, and then stretched their necks out look at their coordinator from a distance. They softened their stance at the same time and turned at each other. Their eyes met, Hitsugi averted his gaze again and Aki just laughed.

Aki’s infectious chuckle got to Hitsugi too and the hallway echoed with their soft laughter as they walked, puzzling the coordinator and drawing a small laugh out of her as well.

The hallway path was now lit up with the 7 AM sunlight and this time as he slung an arm over Hitsugi’s shoulder, Aki didn’t have his stare down on his shoes anymore.

Silently Aoi watched people as they go around and about, the corners of his eyes discreetly spying and everyday learning more about the ones they come across. From here he caught things – small things that seemed oh so trivial but quite the contrary, and it made him a little bit perceptive than most people (though not putting that in practice due to his natural reclusiveness). It was always a joy watching people in silence, seeing them in a completely different light from how they are seen when directly looked at on; similar to when you shut your eyes tight after staring off somewhere for a long time and splashes of colors dance before your eyes, but gone the next second.

Uruha’s has always been the most vibrant color, and Aoi couldn’t help but look longer, straining his eyes before the color is gone again.

But whenever their eyes meet (the color was strongest in Uruha’s eyes) Aoi would always look away, not because he was ashamed of getting caught, but because he was afraid that whatever he sees at that moment will be gone if he was caught.

Aoi’s gaze never stayed long enough to see that the sparkle never left Uruha’s eyes.

Especially when he knew that Aoi was looking.






“Stop looking at me.”

“I would if you start looking directly at me instead of just stealing glances.”

Uruha’s eyes pinned Aoi against the wall, but it’s not as if he’s complaining about being captive of Uruha’s gentle stare.

He doesn’t mind being captive of Uruha’s gentle lips, either.

Ruki stared at his new king-sized bed and smiled; to him, it always looked too big for two people but just enough for three (with a slight cramming together, but that didn’t really matter). It wasn’t very fancy; it just had a nice, clean-looking metallic headboard and a pale yellow scheme, complete with fluffy pillows and a fluffy comforter.

He walked over to the bed and sat down on it, his grin widening as he bounced slightly on the mattress. His skin tingled at the feeling of plush cotton under his fingers, and as his hand continued to glide over the soft surface, the more he heard the bed calling to him.

Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to try it out first.

--

The comforter was warm but not if it’s not wrapped around your body – that was Ruki’s first thought as he stirred awake. He rolled on his stomach and grunted.

His eyes hadn’t adjusted to the light all that well but he immediately tried looking for the control of the air conditioning unit. Ruki stretched out a hand to retrieve the remote beside the clock. The time read 01:29.

With an unconscious pout, Ruki snatched the remote from the bedside table and raised the temperature, then spread out his arms and legs over the bed.

This baby’s gonna be just his tonight, then.

--

For the second time since he drifted to sleep, Ruki stirred awake again, this time because of the rising heat. He tried maneuvering his body but felt a heaviness over his waist. He grunted again.

“Oh.”

Full lips greeted Ruki’s eyes – those he was sure belonged to Aoi. It was probably Uruha’s breath warming his nape, then. Looking down, he saw two arms over his waist and one long leg over his thigh. Ruki sighed, then smiled.

He doesn’t really mind the warmth anyway.

Aoi’s black bed was littered with various score sheets and crumpled paper, and Ruki’s form occupied whatever space was left (which wasn’t much) with his face practically buried on his laptop’s screen. Aoi was the same, except he was sitting down on the floor and using the bed as a table for his machine. Despite Ruki’s obsessive-compulsiveness and Aoi’s strictness when it comes to his things, the two of them looked no more than like disorganized students cramming for their project. Except of course, this was for work.

(If you consider doodling on Photoshop and replying to fan mail work, that is.)

Not long enough, Aoi stirred to the sound of soft snoring and found Ruki starting to sport a waffle face. He snickered first before removing his laptop and setting it on the ground, then did the same for Ruki’s. Slowly but carefully, Aoi started discarding the paper off his bed.

When it was only Ruki left (thankfully still sound asleep), Aoi look behind, eyeing on the sea of disarray on his floor.

He shrugged anyway and plopped gently beside the younger, pulling him by the waist before whispering a hushed ‘good night.’

Uruha was only joking when he said that he usually worked even after midnight. Now he regrets having said so because some people tended to take his words seriously. He’d already forgotten how many times he sighed tonight but he can’t just stand up and risk breaking Aoi’s concentration.

Come to think of it though, it’s not all that bad watching Aoi practice. Even if the older man was facing back from him, Uruha could still imagine how Aoi’s brows creased in the middle as he alternated from the guitar to the computer, how small beads of sweat accumulated in his forehead.

Needless to say, Uruha found it amusing how much of a perfectionist workaholic his lover was. Given an opportunity, Aoi would always, in his own way, display extreme dedication to his craft.

Aoi suddenly cursed out as he hit another wrong string, and Uruha laughed to himself. The small laugh certainly did not escape Aoi’s sensitive ears and so he threw a glare to the younger.

Uruha stood up walked towards Aoi – the latter still glaring at him, but the younger didn’t seem fazed by that at all. Aoi was rather startled when Uruha bent down and leaned his head on the older’s shoulder.

“How about we go now?”

Aoi looked at the younger in a dumbfounded manner for a moment, then smiled and placed the guitar down. Perfection was good, but it’s nothing compared to Uruha’s calm voice already calling him home.

✖
Usually he knew where to stand in every single encounter that he comes across. It wasn’t a hard thing to be not painfully flamboyant (as he’s known for) once in a while, to be clandestine; he’d long convinced himself it’s all for the thrill.

Sometimes the thought just isn’t enough, but what else can he do about it anyway?

He shouldn’t be thinking of these things when they’re all out here to party, girls on the left arm and guys on the right. Let foreign lips latch on their own and their skins, let hands roam to places, and do their jobs to live the rock star life they’ve signed up for. But Ruki figured he was much more complex than that anyway.

The tenth shot of tequila should already be kicking into his system but it didn’t, but at least he had an excuse to stare Aoi in the face all the while. He brought the glass down with a clank against the table then excused himself.

Maybe it wasn’t his place to sit around and watch Aoi make out with everybody else.

For #119 of 15_minute_fic

✖

Dust, it was something so small and insignificant and yet people are always bothered by it – Ruki was no exception. He obsessively dusted his clothes every time he’d notice even the smallest fleck of dust just so he could keep his clothing immaculate, and yet the action really didn’t have any value, it didn’t solve world peace, it didn’t make Ruki happy, it did nothing. But it was there, he noticed it, and he wanted to get rid of it.

As small as dust – that was something that Ruki never wanted himself to be thought of. And it was almost impossible to think of him as such, it was almost blasphemous – Ruki, the vocalist of Gazette, he certainly is larger than life. His ego wouldn’t let that happen, his fame would contest to that, nothing in him would ever indicate that he was ever small.

And yet whenever he’s under Aoi’s scrutiny, he felt no more than an insignificant speck. Those dark, mysterious eyes taking in his full form – Ruki would always feel so insecure about that, and if there’s any feeling that he hated then it would be insecurity. He wasn’t an insecure person, but each time he’s in Aoi’s gaze, then he was. Aoi was one person that turned him inside out. He hated that.

He hated the fact that he actually loves Aoi so damn much, and yet there’s nothing he could do about it; for some reason he just couldn’t.

He hated the fact that he loves Aoi to the point that it hurt, so damn much.

Ruki was a subtle person, and maybe that was his fault. He never did say what exactly was on his mind, but anybody would’ve caught on to what he actually wanted to say, and Aoi wasn’t dumb. Maybe just insensitive.

Or maybe Ruki was just the one who didn’t notice. Like a speck of dust, Aoi’s actions were barely noticeable. Until now.

“I notice you, Ruki, you just don’t look hard enough.”

And with that, Aoi went out the door, leaving Ruki with his mouth wide open, his chest pounding hard, and somehow he didn’t feel so little in Aoi’s eyes anymore.

For #124 of 15_minute_fic

✖

It wasn’t something that he really expected to happen.

He didn’t even realize that something like this was building up inside him right from the start.

It was just a few glances, a small throb in the heart whenever that person smiles, a miniscule longing to hear that person’s voice. He never thought it would escalate to something as prolonged stares, butterflies in the stomach, and ringing up his phone at 3 in the morning just to hear that person’s voice before he sleeps.

This never happened before. He liked girls, not guys who looked like girls, because everybody knows that despite the make-up and the fluffed hair, underneath all that is all man. Maybe a little dorkiness too, but that was beside the point.

Of course he never saw it coming.

Sometimes he thought that if he ignored that feeling, then it would go away, but the more he tried to scramble his way out, the more that he got sucked into this whirlpool of annoying admiration. He wasn’t supposed to be admiring anybody than himself; it wasn’t in his nature, and even if it was a lover that he looked for, then he would never think of them with such high regard.

This was bad. What he thought was just a drizzle had become a full blown rain, and it doesn’t seem that this rain would be stopping any time soon.

Then again, Aoi had always loved the rain. Especially the unexpected ones. Except when he forgot his umbrella, like right now.

“You really didn’t have to accompany me all the way home,” Aoi sighed defeatedly, hands in his pockets since he wasn’t even allowed to carry the umbrella for the two of them.

“But I wanted to,” was the reply, accompanied with a lighthearted laugh.

“Seriously. You’re stubborn in your own way, aren’t you?”

“Is it so wrong to care, now, Aoi-san?” Uruha tilted his head to the side a bit, and Aoi stopped in his tracks.

“Since when did you start to care?”

Uruha looked up to the sky through his transparent umbrella before turning back to the older, then smiled. “I’ve always cared, you just don’t notice.”

Well. That certainly wasn’t expected.

“Yes, Aoi-san, so please stop grinning now. It kind of creeps me out.”

And Aoi did stop grinning, though he wished that this rain would last for a bit longer, and the road to extend a little further.

after sono.

✖

We stretch out our hands
as if to take the world into our arms

(then again, the world means only the two of us)

and feel the wind against our skins;
my hands on your hips,
your hair on my lips.


You pout when
I say we’d never
be Jack and Rose
even if we tried
and I only laugh.


Of course we’d never
be like them –

one:
for obvious reasons,
and two:
there’s no iceberg big enough

to sink us down.

Contrary to popular belief,
I don’t do the things I do to
gain everybody’s attention.
It’s just that I don’t want to
be too obvious in trying to
get you to notice me until
I’m sure that you actually
have noticed me.

No other way now but back.
For #123 of 15_minute_fic

✖

Uruha didn’t want to be dependent but things happen and people change, others come into our lives and push us to directions we’d never think of leading ourselves to. Aoi was one such person and his impact in Uruha’s life is so vast that Uruha’s world had turned upside down.

The nights and days passed filled with memories that will forever be etched in Uruha’s mind; discovering new paths and things, viewing the world in a slightly different light. And with each second that passed, his hold onto Aoi tightened until it was only Aoi who pulled them not forward, but to whichever way the wind took them.

Everything looked so fine and easy and dandy too because no matter how Uruha would refuse to admit it, humans always go for the easiest way to get by and he was no exception.

But things happen and people change, thoughts invade minds and push us into an altogether different direction we ourselves would never go to. Sometimes we’re forced to let go of things we don’t want to, forget cherished memories we don’t want to forget, leave people behind earlier than expected. And all of a sudden Uruha just found himself in the middle of the road without anybody to hold onto anymore, barely standing in his own two feet, but he needed to move on.

Because the world had to spin around again even if Aoi won’t always be at its center.