15 November 2009 @ 07:56 pm
“Final conversation.”  
It was never hard to guess what’s on his mind. He always stuck to the same routine anyway – he’d get up from bed, shower, eat while doing his work in front of a computer. He doesn’t even have to go out of the house, although sometimes I wished he would, just to get some air. Kiyomine had always been easy to figure out, at least, to me. For me, seeing him in this repetitiveness is somewhat comforting.

As always, I was just watching the disorientated manner he slept; all his pillows scattered on the floor already with his blanket and bed sheets twisted around his body. I couldn’t help but smile, really, and found it ironic how he was the older brother and here I was, hovering above him, being his watcher, his protector, and dare I say his guardian angel, even though I don’t have the wings, the halo, or the good characteristics of such a heavenly being. But really I was just my brother’s keeper.

To my surprise he opened his eyes, and I peered at the clock only to find that it was just a minute after six. It’s not too bothersome, really, but it wasn’t like him to wake up so early in the morning since he really didn’t have to, and it wasn’t like him to look so calm, peaceful – sad, even, if I didn’t know him any better – the moment he wakes up. Usually he’d wake up with a nasty scowl on his face and a curse word already staining his lips – something I’ve come to get used to.

Somehow I get the feeling that something special would happen, and I bet my (nonexistent) life he does too. Kiyomine shuffled in the bed, and a few moments after he got up, still with that expression in his face. He disappeared into the bathroom and I reached for the sheets, but only for my small hands to phase through them.

To my disappointment, nothing really special happened that morning. So maybe he got up a little bit earlier than I expected, but the routine, it was still there. He opened his computer for a moment, stared blankly at it, and then shut it off again to wander around. Apparently he didn’t want to do his work, and that was perfectly normal.

He stopped in front of my altar and smiled a little – that goofy smile that he wore when the two of us used to fool around surely was a relief to me. Suddenly he turned to the door, slowly but surely, and before I knew it he was out of the house. I could only smile to myself, because finally my prayers had been answered. Still, I wish he’d kept the smile on his face, because he looked more pleasant when he wore it. Going out on a fairly nice day with a glare plastered on your face really isn’t the way to do it, but that’s how Kiyomine is – so angry with the world all the time.

Then again, this time, he had a valid reason.

I wasn’t very surprised upon realizing that he was headed to the small bar near the manor. He’d never gone there, and I sure wouldn’t be allowed to go anywhere near it had I been still alive. Again I found it funny how technically I’m still a long way from being of legal age and yet I’m here, again technically joining my brother for a drink. I’m pretty sure he was drinking because he was already bored of something, probably his work.

Kiyomine ordered a drink, Mojito to be exact, and the bar owner somehow frowned at him. I didn’t understand at first, and quite frankly I was more worried with how my brother would react to this rather inhospitable approach, but then he told the man, “I’ll pay good, and besides you don’t have any other customers so just take your time.” Very eloquent wording, of course.

The drink took quite a while to prepare, and all those times he was just staring blankly at the counter, fidgeting on the multiple rings on his fingers. When it was served to him, he pulled some money from his pocket and handed it to the bar owner, who didn’t seem unfriendly anymore when he received the cash. And then he went back to staring blankly, this time at his drink, while running his fingers gently over the rim. I positioned myself at the other side of the counter so I’d be able to get a better view of his relaxed face – happy that at least he wasn’t so grumpy.

Suddenly the door swung open, but Kiyomine didn’t budge a bit. I smiled and then looked towards the door to see who it was that came in. Of course it must be somebody I have no idea who is, and the idea of anybody I know walking past that door is highly unlikely.

I was wrong.

The newcomer sat down next to Kiyomine, but my brother was facing away so he wouldn’t have noticed. Even if I tried, I wouldn’t be able to get my brother to notice me, more so him, and in knowing this I simply stayed quiet and watched Kiyomine, trying as much as possible not to be distracted with the other man.

I think it had only been half an hour and it already felt like an eternity. Kiyomine’s drink was barely touched – he’d only taken one sip and then went back to playing with the rim instead. I wondered why it was the drink he ordered in the first place when he didn’t seem to like it that much. But that was my stupid brother and I could only smile at his antics, but my smile quickly faded because he was still wearing that impassive expression on his face.

And just when I was already ignoring the presence of the other, he got up, placing a hand over the counter to leave some kind of accessory behind. I watched him exit the bar and when he did, a strong wind blew – the wind was so strong that Kiyomine felt it and that made him shift a bit from his position. He raised his brow and then turned back to his drink.

The first different expression then manifested on his face – one of surprise – when he saw the necklace lying on the counter. It wasn’t that he forgot about it already, but I could tell that silver necklace made him remember something. Maybe he remembered that he gave that one to Sanakura-san, who he (and I) had been ignoring earlier.

Kiyomine then stood from his seat and hurriedly grabbed the necklace, violently pushing the door open, and frantic that there was no one in sight upon leaving the bar. He turned left and right and finally he saw a few people, but he decided to go right. Sanakura-san was wearing black and most of these people were wearing black so I couldn’t figure out which one of these was him. Nevertheless Kiyomine picked up his pace and then grabbed a random hand.

The owner of that hand turned and I’m surprised how it doesn’t surprise me that my brother knew. Perhaps that was my cue to leave, but being the pesky little sister that I am, I stayed for a while and watched.

“Aoki,” Sanakura-san started, his already small voice muffled by the scarf that was covering almost half of his face.

Still catching his breath, Kiyomine simply stayed quiet but I just knew his grip was getting tighter, from what I could see in Sanakura-san’s eyes. When the other started pulling on his hand, Kiyomine let him go without second thought, and we watched Sanakura-san start to walk away.

For my part, it was hard to watch. I wished I was able to cry, because the hurt in my chest now was much more painful compared puffy, bloodshot eyes. So at that I started to drift away, unable to watch them anymore.

“Sanakura,” Kiyomine said, stopping me in my tracks, as well as Sanakura-san. “Stay here.”

For a brief moment I saw Sanakura-san move his shoulders, but I wasn’t sure anymore because I could feel my body being pulled away slowly from the scene. I closed my eyes, and the image of the two of them pulling each other to a tight embrace was burned in my sight.

“Just stay here. With me.”


Finished on Oct. '08. Knowing that the two of them will never come to life again still stings.

Story was told through the eyes of Aoki Hikaru, Kiyomine's late little sister.